Where creative writing and general rambling go hand in hand :)

Monday, 30 April 2018

Mummy friends?

When I was pregnant a few people mentioned joining an NCT class, 'because you'll need the support' 'it's great to have mummy friends that are going through the same thing at the same time' 'they are a lifeline'
While I don't have anything against these classes or people that use them, it really wasn't for me.
Since having Isaac I keep seeing posts about 'why you need mummy friends'.
Out of interest I've read a few of these and mostly these mummy friends are ones who have babies the same/similar age to your own. You can talk to them about your birth story and they won't be horrified, they'll help you out with childcare, they understand when your clothes are covered in baby sick/snot/whatever else your child has wiped on you.
Each to their own but I already have some great friends, some have children, some don't, some have grandchildren and each one of them is important to me. My friendships haven't changed since I became a mum, to them I am still the same person I just have different priorities now.
Some I see barely once a year, some every other week or so depending on plans, some every couple of months. This is much the same as before I became a mum.
I'm pretty sure none of my friends care whether I turn up to meet them with a baby related stain on my clothes, and those who are interested asked about the birth. I also know that if I was in need of childcare I could call on any of them (unless any of them message me after reading this and tell me to bog off).
When Isaac was about 8 weeks old I decided to try a baby music/sensory class. I can honestly say it is the most uncomfortable I have ever felt, I was even relieved when he started screaming so I could take him off for a nappy change and make a swift exit.
To some this may sound ridiculous, but having never been a very sociable person I'm perfectly happy with this. Why do I need to make new friends just because I've had a baby? sometimes it's hard enough to arrange meet ups with my current friends and I certainly am not prepared to replace them just because we are all at different stages in life. I've known some of these women for over 20 years and they're not getting rid of me that easily.

I understand why this sort of support network works for some people, but I'm perfectly happy with the support I have from Daniel and our family and friends.

Wednesday, 4 April 2018

Swimming with my baby

Well it's been a while since I last posted anything, let me catch you up.

(don't worry it gets happier)
About a month after my last post we found out we were pregnant, a few weeks later we sadly miscarried. It was very early in the pregnancy which sometimes makes me feel like I don't have a right to be sad about it. But I do have that right and I do feel sad, it upsets me that this is still a taboo subject when so many women go through it, I'm not suggesting everyone makes public announcements about it but nobody should be made to feel like they can't talk about it. I'm not ashamed that it happened, I did nothing wrong and since then we have been lucky enough to become proud parents to our beautiful rainbow baby born in August 17.

Said baby (Isaac) is now over 7 months old and I can't believe how quickly that has gone. During pregnancy I managed to get away with only gaining about half a stone. Unfortunately before pregnancy and after giving birth I seem to have put on a great deal more than that, resulting in very few of my clothes fitting.

Isaac has been swimming since he was about 3 months old, luckily for me Daniel was perfectly happy to get in the pool with him as there was no way I was getting in a swimming costume. Isaac has completed several underwater swims in class which Daniel has had the opportunity to see (thanks to prescription goggles). Recently he had an underwater photo shoot which produced some stunning photos.

Last weekend we went away for a few days to a holiday camp and I decided to see if one of my swimming costumes would fit, turned out I could still fit in to my maternity costume (not sure if that's a good thing or not). I decided to brave it in a public pool so that I could experience Isaac's underwater swimming myself. As nervous as I was being in a swimming costume in public while being extremely unhappy with how my body looks I can now say it was totally worth it. 
I've watched every one of Isaac's swimming lessons from the side of the pool so I know most of what they practice. Daniel and I took it in turns holding Isaac and taking him through some of the activities. With the help of Daniels old (non prescription) goggles I plunged myself underwater while Daniel sent Isaac under; when I came up I wanted to cry, some of which could have been relief from managing to get myself underwater but mostly it was because of the gorgeous view I had under there, my baby boy smiling at me while making his way to the surface. I know he loves his swimming lessons and now that I've seen him underwater myself I know that he is confident in the water and that we made the best decision by taking him to these lessons.
I'm still not brave enough to get the costume out again for his lessons and I know that both Isaac and Daniel enjoy this bonding time so I have no need to. If I brave my costume again then great but for now I have that beautiful image of my little water baby etched in my mind and that's good enough for me.