Where creative writing and general rambling go hand in hand :)

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

A215 weekly challenge week 3

So the challenge for this week is to rewrite a fairytale with some suggestions from work colleagues I decided to write my own version of Hansel and Gretel based on some local 'characters'. I wrote this in one go and have decided to post it as it is without any editing of it. hope you like it :)

Bedminster and Leilani
Once upon a time in the small village of Topley, lived  Bedminster and his sister Leilani, they lived with their mum and her boyfriend in one of the best houses in the village (they had more scrap cars in the front garden than anyone). When mum found out she was expecting another baby she told Bedminster and Leilani that they had to leave or make some money as they couldn’t afford to keep them all.
The next morning the brother and sister duo were kicked out of the house early and told not to return. They set off on a journey through the next town and kept going and going, eventually the only house in sight was a magnificent one, there were two huge dogs in the garden which was overgrown and contained no less than five scrap cars. Through the window they spotted bright lights and what looked like lots of plants sat on tables, in the next room sat several men and women surrounded by clouds of smoke and all appeared to be in fits of giggles. The two dogs started to bark loudly which alerted the occupants who all came to the door. One man leered at Leilani and said to his friend “blimey she’s a bit skinny aint she, af to fatten er up a bit an feed em both t’the dogs”
A very large woman stood in front of the children with her arms folded across her chest, “you wan somfin?” she spat at them. “We’ve been kicked out cos of the new sprog and need to make some money to get ome” said Bedminster. The woman invited them in after telling them she had some jobs they could do selling her goods.
So every day Bedminster walked into the town with a brown paper bag handed it over to whoever met him at the other end in exchange for cash and returned to the house. Meanwhile Leilani was kept at the house and plied with food all day. She knew her fate was to be fed to the dogs and really wanted to go back to Topley even though she knew her mum didn’t want her there. One evening she told Bedminster they had to come up with a plan to get home, so every time he went into town he saved some of the money he got and kept it hidden, eventually they had enough cash to get the local bus back to Topley.
When they arrived back home mum came out of the front door looking really pleased to see them, when they asked her why she replied that her boyfriend had left her for the tenth time and as she was so far pregnant she was unable to pick things up from the shop as well as the kids could. So they were all happy to be a family again and the following day mum sent the kids off to the local shop with a shopping list, no need for money Bedminster and Leilani were the best shoplifters in the village. They came home laden with goods having stuffed them in their pockets and bags and in the old pram they found on the way to the shop. Mum was overjoyed and so happy to have her kids back, and they all lived chavily ever after.

The End.


  1. This is great. I like the 'Chavily ever after bit'.

  2. Ha! Brilliant :-)

  3. love the dialogue :)