Where creative writing and general rambling go hand in hand :)

Friday, 19 August 2011

Memory problems and confidence issues

This morning I decided to have a read through my old school reports, my physical education ones from each year seemed to say the same - Sharleene is a very cheerful person, she always has funny comments to make, she is always smiling. Or in other words, Sharleene is rubbish at P.E but she keeps going and keeps laughing at herself :).
Focusing on the reports from my English teachers (due to doing an English degree) some of the comments are similar to my Open Uni tutors' with regards to silly grammar and punctuation mistakes. But on reading the reports from my GCSE years I was informed that I had studied Of mice and men, Macbeth, Hobson's choice and Talking in whispers. So how is it that I only remember Of mice and men ?? I really do not recall studying the others at all.
To quote my year 10 English teacher.

"She has also produced some good work on 'Talking in Whispers', a book she must now know quite well. She enjoys reading, especially books of her own choosing, and is beginning to write good responses to literature."

I don't remember this book at all and so I am tempted to purchase it in an effort to refresh my memory and maybe the others too. He is of course correct in the book choosing comment as I do feel if I could choose the books to write my essays on then I would do loads better. But as I can't then I must get back to what I thought was my first Shakespeare experience, though according to these reports it clearly isn't ??!!

Nearly all my subject teachers commented on the fact that I preferred not to share ideas with the whole class and worked better in small groups, clearly my confidence has always been the way it is now. I'm so scared of being wrong and feeling humiliated that I don't want to put myself out there. Perhaps writing this blog will help build my confidence in myself as a person and as a writer :)

1 comment:

  1. Think of how many books you have read in your lifetime. Most of which you chose to read yourself. No doubt there have been some amazing ones! Now, is it any surprise that you wouldn't necessarily remember reading a book that was not of your choosing, from 15+ years ago?
    (By the way, I also studied Of Mice And Men and Macbeth!)
    As for the confidence issue; I don't think you are alone there. I doubt myself constantly: Am I good enough? Am I interesting enough? Am I smart enough? Am I liked? Etc, etc.
    Just know that from my point of view, as your reader, I think you are all those things. X